How Positive Reinforcement Can Benefit Your Child

Almost everything we do is guided by our understanding of the resulting consequences. For instance, we are motivated to watch the latest episode of our favourite television show because we are excited to see what happens next. We are discouraged from opening up a new tub of ice-cream for dessert because we know we have been snacking way too much. Even when it seems our choices are random or unexplainable, our actions are likely guided by previous experiences and outcomes.

This idea, that human behaviour is shaped by outcomes is the key concept behind ‘operant conditioning’, which is a core theory in developmental psychology. Operant conditioning theory suggests that many of our learned behaviours are derived from either “reinforcers” or “punishments”. These reinforcers and punishments are split up into several sub-categories, one of which is known as ‘positive reinforcement’.

Understanding what positive reinforcement is gives you a powerful tool with which you can better understand how your children learn. This will allow you to promote healthy behaviours and habits that will be with them for life.

So, What is Positive Reinforcement?

Simply put, to apply positive reinforcement on your children is to reward your child when they do something that you approve of. This communicates to your little one that you approve of their behaviour, which in turn, encourages it. When you apply positive reinforcement, your child will feel noticed and appreciated for their behaviour. This has the added benefit of raising their sense of self-esteem and belief in their own capabilities.

There is no exact rule when it comes to what you should reward your child with or how often you should reward them. That would be largely dependent on your child and the relationship you have with him or her. Sometimes, a simple praise, a high five, or a warm hug is more than enough. For more demanding or complex behaviours, promising to take them to playground or read a book together will do the job.

That said, it is important to be consistent when you start out. If your rewards are random and irregular, your child is unlikely to change their behaviour. Consider how motivated you would be to go to work if you only got paid every now and then. Likewise, especially for younger children, the more regular you are with your rewards the more effective your positive reinforcement will be.

Positive reinforcement teaches your children that learning new things and picking up new skills is a good thing. It encourages them to embrace learning and be open to new ideas.

Does That Mean I’ll Be Stuck having to Reward My kid Every Time They Do The Dishes?

If done right, positive reinforcement is not bribery, but rather, a method of communicating to your child what you approve of and what you do not. After some time, as your child begins to master their new behaviour, you can slowly begin to wean your child off of the reward system that you have devised by slowly spacing out the time in-between rewards. For instance, instead of promising ‘T.V. time’ every time they clean their room, you can promise ‘T.V time’ if they manage to keep their room clean for a week.

In this interim period, it is still important to communicate your approval of their behaviour even if you are not rewarding them immediately. You may find that surprise rewards may be especially helpful in keeping your child motivated to keep up their behaviour, as they will never know when something wonderful is coming their way. For example, if you notice exemplary behaviour over a period of time without reward, you can say something like “Good job! You have been doing so well lately and I am really proud of you. Let’s order pizza in tonight to celebrate!”

Tip: Rather than promising a reward immediately every time your child carries out the right behaviour, you can use tokens such as stickers that can be exchanged in the future for larger rewards. This teaches your children delay of gratification and makes it easier for you to transition away from an extrinsic reward system.

But What Happens If My Child Does Something Wrong?

Well firstly, consider how you can be creative in managing and adjusting your system of positive reinforcement with your child. For example, if your child is particularly boisterous during playtime and your neighbours are starting to complain; instead of scolding them for being loud, let them know that if they play quietly for at least 30 minutes, they can have a cookie for snack time. Providing incentives for behaviours that cannot co-exist with unwanted habits can do wonders to reduce and eliminate the latter.

That said, even though positive reinforcement is a versatile tool, certain situations do call for different strategies. If the situation does not permit, we can once again turn to operant conditioning theory for ideas on how we can discourage unwanted behaviours.

Negative Punishment Versus Positive Punishment

In spite of the word ‘negative’, the concept of negative punishment is really not as dastardly as it sounds. In fact, the term ‘positive punishment’ is what psychologists refer to what is more commonly known as traditional punishment; which is when you apply a negative stimulus to dissuade your child from their behaviour. Scolding and caning, for instance, are examples of positive punishment.

Wait, so negative punishment is better than positive punishment? If the terminology confuses you, then that’s something that you and plenty of freshman psychology students have in common.

Behaviour + Stimulus (Reinforcer OR Punishment) = Outcome

To understand the terminology, you have to first understand that positive and negative in the context of operant conditioning has nothing to do with “good” or “bad”. You can think of it mathematically instead: positive (+) means to add something, negative (-) means to remove something.

The second thing you need to understand is that the difference between reinforcers and punishment lie in outcome. Reinforcers encourage behaviour, but punishments discourage behaviour.

Stimulus	Definition	Examples
Positive Reinforcer (+)	To add a stimulus to encourage behaviour	Praise Giving stickers
Positive Punishment (+)	To add a stimulus to discourage behaviour	Scolding Writing lines
Negative Punishment (-)	To remove a stimulus to discourage behaviour	Taking away a toy Cancelling a fun trip

So, a positive reinforcer is when you add a stimulus in order to promote desired behaviour in your child. For example, buying your child a new video game for doing well on a test. Negative punishment is when you remove a stimulus in order to discourage unwanted behaviour in your child, for example, taking away their video games if they forget to do their homework. The child then works hard over the next few days in order to earn back their video game.

Negative punishment is generally preferred to positive punishment because the latter can sometimes lead to unwanted consequences. A 2012 literature review of 20-years’ worth of academic studies found positive punishment to be a risk factor for child aggression and anti-social behaviour [1].

Additionally, unlike positive reinforcement or negative punishment, positive punishment does not always introduce replacement behaviours to the child. This means that children are less likely, or slower, to pick up healthy behaviours or habits because of positive punishment.

Final Thoughts

Words are not the only way in which we convey information to our children. Whether you are rewarding or punishing your child, it is important to bear in mind that everything we do is a form of communication. Communication works best when both parties respect and are willing to listen to one another. This in turn applies to the dynamics between a parent and child. It may be helpful to consider strategies that reinforce the messages you are trying to express, whilst at the same time cultivating the loving bond with your little ones.

At Wonderlit, we believe in the power of educators to positively impact our students’ behaviour in addition to their education. All of our educators hold recognised qualifications in their respective fields with plenty of experience working with children. Additionally, they undergo a comprehensive induction and training programme in line with the studios teaching philosophy. Click here to find out more about the programmes we offer.